Reading Time: 2 minYou hear it a lot, particularly in political discussions: “they don’t share my values”. It’s often intended largely as “they’re a lesser person for not holding these values”, but that’s not always true. In her book “I Never Thought of It That Way“, author Mónica Guzmán shares the idea of the Schwartz Value Survey and […]
Empathy
Negotiate with more questions
Reading Time: 2 minI always find it interesting when the data shows the opposite of what I expect. It could be something like Simpson’s Paradox, which is just so weird, or the idea that expert poker players fold 3x more often than an amateur player. In Adam Grant’s book “Give and Take” he shares a study from Neil […]
The other side really is human
Reading Time: < 1 minIt may not seem like it at times, but those people you know who support “the other party” probably aren’t as evil as you think. As we deepen our relationships with only other people that hold similar to views to us, it creates a generally unhealthy “siloing” and we tend to dig in deeper against […]
What should confrontation lead to?
Reading Time: < 1 minWe all get into confrontations with people around us, whether at work or home, but those aren’t always a bad thing. If you can take a breath before the confrontation to determine your goals, the outcome is likely to be much better. In his book “Integrity“, author Henry Cloud puts it this way: Another aspect […]
Unfollow me if you disagree
Reading Time: 2 minActually, don’t. If we disagree and then choose to disconnect, we’re both worse off as a result. A recent episode of the “You are not so smart” podcast dug into this very topic, discussing Mónica Guzmán’s excellent book “I Never Thought of It That Way“. The book digs into the ways that people can have […]
The more you talk, the more you think you learn
Reading Time: < 1 minWhen having conversations with others, we all know that we need to do a better job of listening. As Henry Cloud has said before, empathy comes from listening. To really get to know someone, listen more. However, it doesn’t feel that way. In studies about conversations, the person that talked more often felt that they […]
According to the state of Florida, you are likely “woke”
Reading Time: 2 minOver the past few years, Florida governor Ron DeSantis has been a big opponent of “woke”. Some people love him for that, and some hate it, but he’s proud to be fighting it. The definition of “woke” is very muddy, perhaps on purpose, but the state of Florida has put it in clear terms. Not […]
You can learn more from people’s questions than their answers
Reading Time: 2 minIn any great conversation, questions are being sent back and forth as you go through various topics. While the answers to the questions are certainly a great way to gain insight on the other person, often the question itself will be revealing. I recently heard Adam Grant sum it up like this: “Don’t follow people […]
Humility can help you seem real
Reading Time: 3 minStarting back in 2006, Dos Equis ran a series of commercials featuring “The Most Interesting Man in the World”. If you’ve not seem any of then before, here is an example: When reading Robert Carnes’ book “The Story Cycle“, he made an interesting note about these videos and the bit of humility they always showed […]
Your character is how you help people that can’t help you
Reading Time: 2 minThroughout any given day, you’ll have a great number of chances to help other people. Some of those people might be able to help you as well, but many can’t, and that’s where true character lies. In the book “Just Mercy“, author Bryan Stevenson says it simply as: “The true measure of our character is […]