I talk about empathy quite a lot (here are 160+ other posts on it), as I feel it’s one of the most important skills we can develop. Understanding the feelings and experiences of others is one of the best ways to connect and learn.
One of my favorite books from the past few years is Mónica Guzmán’s “I Never Thought of it That Way“, which explores ways to better understand those around us, particularly those that we disagree with. Her main premise of the book is:
“That’s because, to be totally frank with you (and if it isn’t already obvious), one of my deepest personal convictions in life is that understanding the people who confound us is always, always worth it.”
When recently digging back into Chris Voss’ “Never Split the Difference“, he had a similar take. His goal comes from the angle of negotiation, and he puts a nice twist on it, saying:
“The beauty of empathy is that it doesn’t demand that you agree with the other person’s ideas”
Guzmán thinks similarly in her book. She encourages you to work hard to understand the other person, but that doesn’t mean you need to agree with them. You should work to understand and see things from the other person’s point of view and it’ll really open up your eyes, but that doesn’t mean you need to agree with them at all.
