It’s easy to say that we should never assume anything about anyone, and I agree in theory, but it’s not really possible. While we can limit our assumptions to a degree, we’ll never escape them entirely — and maybe we shouldn’t.
In her book “I Never Thought of It That Way“, author Monica Guzman shares this thought on assumptions:
“We can’t not make assumptions about people. Assumptions are how we navigate a complicated world where we don’t know and can’t know everything about everyone. All we can do is notice the assumptions we’re making and ask why.”
Back in the 90’s I worked at a video game store (which I mentioned briefly here), and it was a fantastic job. However, I had one manager there that was kind of a jerk, and at some point he gave me the cheesy line “if you assume something, you only make an ass out of u and me“. I thought he was wrong then, and I still do now.
- If someone was standing and looking through the games for the Super Nintendo, I assumed they were interested in them.
- If someone asked when “Warcraft 2” was coming out, I assumed they were a fan of the first one.
I could have been wrong in either case, but there’s a 95% chance I was right. Plus, the stakes were low and being “wrong” there wasn’t a big deal. The assumptions were beneficial.
Stakes
I think the stakes are the key here. If I assume someone was interested in Super Nintendo games and I was wrong (maybe they were just wasting time while mom shopped next door), it didn’t hurt anything.
On the other hand, bigger assumptions can lead to bigger problems. It reminds of a scene in “The Office” where Michael sees a man walking toward the building wearing a turban and immediately assumes the worst. I couldn’t find the clip, but here’s what it looked like:
While the show made light of it, those are the kinds of assumptions that can lead to real problems.
In almost every case, though, the best move is to follow Guzman’s advice and “notice the assumptions we’re making and ask why.” Being self-aware is powerful and is the often the best way to improve yourself.
Do you think there’s ever a good side to making assumptions? Or should we try to cut them out of our thoughts to the greatest extent possible?
