Unfollow me if you disagree

Actually, don’t. If we disagree and then choose to disconnect, we’re both worse off as a result.

A recent episode of the “You are not so smart” podcast dug into this very topic, discussing Mónica Guzmán’s excellent book “I Never Thought of It That Way“. The book digs into the ways that people can have productive conversations even if their viewpoints are very different. Really, it helps showcase how those can often be the best people to have those kinds of conversations with.

Unfollow me

I’m sure you’ve seen it on social media; “if you disagree with this post, then just unfollow me“. While there may be cases where that’s valid, most of those posts are politically-focused and unfollowing makes things worse. The end result can be like Scott Adams (the creator of the “Dilbert” cartoon), and the amazingly inept filter bubble that he created as a result of pruning his social media so closely.

That’s not to say you should stay connected with monsters. If you’re Black, and someone you’re connected with makes it very clear that they’re a proud racist, unfollowing might be a wise move. In most cases, though, it’s not that wide of a gap. We tend to see “the other side” at their extremes.

“All Republicans are racists”

“All Democrats are pedophiles”

There are certainly people at the edges, but the guy across the street with the flag you voted against isn’t likely one of them. You just don’t believe all of the same things, like:

“Electric cars are the future”

“Biden left the border open”

“Masks didn’t help”

In the podcast, Guzmán compares it to simply building a bridge to connect with the other person. With that analogy, don’t start with the longest bridge; start with a short one and have a good conversation. Listen and learn, and try to hold your tongue so you can take more in through your ears.

Many of my favorite conversations are with people that I don’t agree with, but with whom I can have a rational conversation.

You probably also notice that the “unfollow me if you disagree” people are also the least informed, simply because they’re not willing to listen. Any holes in their knowledge are filled with their own ideas instead of seeking the truth.

Check out that podcast episode and her book (which I’m reading now), as I’ve found both to be quite insightful.

If you disagree with something that I say I hope you won’t unfollow me, and I’ll do the same for you.